The Magical Hip-Hop Get Out of Jail Free Card

In 2010, Michelle Obama invited a rapper who calls himself Common to the White House for a delightful evening of poetry. Common’s lyrics include a metaphorical reference to how he wears his gun in “a black strap to make the cops run” and about “burning” George W. Bush. Common has also expressed support for Reverend Jeremiah Wright, Malcolm X, and convicted cop-killer Mumia Abu-Jamal. He is also an outspoken critic of interracial dating.

Barack Obama’s greatest talent is his ability to take unabashed lawbreakers or wannabe cop-killers and suddenly turn them into unapologetic cheerleaders for big government. And he’s apparently able to do this solely through the magical mystical powers of his skin color.

The hip-hop artist most commonly known as Snoop Dogg—born Calvin Broadus, formerly known as Snoop Doggy Dogg, now known as Snoop Lion, and possibly at some interim point known as Snoop Dip-Duh-Dip Rang-a-Dang Diddly Dogg—recently posted on his Instagram account another Instagram user’s handwritten list of ten reasons to vote for Obama and not Romney.

Among the reasons not to vote for Romney:

1. He is a white nigga.
2. This muthafucka’s name is Mitt.

7. He always interrupts and talks over people like he’s better than them. Bitch I will beat the shit out of you.

Among the reasons to pull the lever for Obama:

1. He a black nigga.
3. That nigga look like he can fight.

5. Michelle got a fat ass.
6. He’s BFF’s with Jay-Z.


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